I love you both more than anything but following our rather stressful day yesterday, I think it would be a good idea to lay down some school holiday ground rules:
* Just because it’s the school holidays, you do not need to be doing something every minute of the day! I do not have the time, money or patience to constantly entertain you every minute of every day….
* When I go to the trouble of setting up the paints or the playdough then I expect it to take slightly more than 5 minutes before you declare that you are bored….
* If I tell you that we can’t do something because (a) it’s raining, (b) I am skint until payday or (c) I just don’t want to, you really should know that I will get angry if you tell me that it’s not fair because I never let you do anything!
* It would be beneficial to all concerned if everyone stayed in bed until at least eight o clock, it would help my mood considerably if I was not woken up before seven o clock with screams of victory because one of you managed to knock the other of the track at Mario Kart on the Wii.
* It does not count as tidying your bedroom up if you just hide everything under your bed – Remember, just because Daddy does something, doesn’t mean it’s right!
If we follow these simple rules, we may just make it to next Monday morning in one peace!
All my love,
I fully appreciate that you worked nights last night but when you wake up, I wxpect you to come dowstairs and spend time with your beatiful children rather than hide upstairs and play on your new I-Phone.
I’m not deaf you know, I can hear you 😉
Please be aware that I expect you to do your fair share of babysitting our little bundles of joy this week while they are off school.
I would be very grateful if you could pass this message on to your good friends the Wii and the DVD player.
Dear Wacky Warehouse
I thought it best to notify you that I will be visiting your establishment this afternoon with my two children. As you are aware, there was a small incident last time we came when my darling daughter arranged a boys against girl battle in the ball pool.
In her defence I don’t think she expected every child in the ball pool to join in and she has promised me that there will not be a repeat performance this afternoon.
Dear Glass of Wine
I am very much looking forward to our rendezvous this evening.