Do you often find yourself saying NO to your children when they ask you something?
I’m not talking about saying no to things that it’s reasonable to say no to – going out after dark, eating too much of the wrong stuff and staying up too late on the Xbox are some of the things that come to mind when I mean things that it’s reasonable to say no to.
My question should really be phrased a bit differently I guess because the point I’m trying to make is that sometimes when our children ask us a question, we say no without a very good reason.
We might say no to a trip to the beach of to the park because we’re busy but actually there’s nothing that won’t wait until a bit later or we might say no to having pudding before tea because it seems silly but it does no harm every once in a while and it’s fun to do.
What about saying no to toasting marshmallows in the garden just because it’s cold or say no to getting an ice cream at the beach because it’s not Summer. Who says you can’t wrap up warm and have just as much, if not more, fun doing these things in the Winter than you’d have in the warmer weather.
Then there’s saying no to things that we’re not ready as parents to let our children do but deep down we know that they’re more than ready. It’s our own worries that are stopping them from growing as they need to grow.
Life’s too short to say no when we don’t have to and genuinely, some of my favourite family memories have been times when I almost said no. It won’t be long before they’ll be all grown up and you’ll wish you’d said yes more when they were younger.
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Wonderfully said. I have said no too many times, but I definitely need to make a conscious effort to say yes. This is especially true when saying no to the things that make me worry, but saying yes will mean my son is learning more independence and life skills.
Yes its a good reminder, but o so hard when you have got so much to do and the last thing you want to do is go out in the cold etc.
I have days where I try and do this more and then slip into my old habits, your post will encourage me to try harder 🙂 x
It is important to say No and that they learn that they don;t always get what they want, but you are right, you have to say Yes to things too 🙂
This is something I need to try and be better at too x
Ihave times when I am a yes Mum and times when I am not. I think that having such great kids as you do makes it so much easier!
I'm definitely a Yes mummy, but if it has to be a no I always make sure they know why I'm saying no. Sometimes it's hard for a child to understand why.
Absolutely! Saying yes more is being open to new opportunities and this makes for a happier and more rich life than staying in your comfort zone.
Totally agree with this idea – with a child with PDA in the house we are rarely allowed to say no anyway… 😉
Love it. But of course remember that maybe is YES within the ears of kids, so just phrase your words carefully!
Haha … that should of course read 'nine times out of ten' …. not none!!
I always taught my children not to rush me for an answer for this very reason.
It was always oh so easy to say a sharp NO when I was busy or could not think of a way to do something. If they asked me a question at an awkward time I would just say 'give me a minute to think'. None times out of ten they got a yes if they patiently waited or just didn't push for an immediate answer. This also taught them a little bit of patience and not to leave asking me questions until the last minute.
A very good reminder to teach us to slow down and that family time is very precious x