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Facebook….

I’ve just received a friend request on Facebook from my dad – how weird is that? He’s 70 but since my mum died he has discovered a new lease of life, he joined the gym, bought a laptop and an Ipod and now this!  I’m not sure how I feel about having him be able to see all my updates and the messages I get from my friends….

As my family (other than Mr Frugal) and friends don’t know about my blog yet I have two separate Facebook accounts, one personal and one blog page so it’s my personal account that he has added.  I don’t think he’s ready to see me as a grown up and not his little girl just yet so I might just ignore his request for now and plead ignorance.

On the subject of anonymity, I don’t really know how I feel about my family and friends knowing about my blog, it just seems really personal to me and I don’t want to share it.  I show pictures of the kids but I don’t use any real names or anything but lately I’ve been starting to wonder whether I should just use their real names rather than Miss and Master Frugal.  Is there a point hiding their first names when I show their photos?  I’m not so sure anymore.  Just using our first names wouldn’t mean that I wasn’t anonymous would it?

I’ll have a think but someday soon there may be some introductions to be had ;-)

While I’m rambling on about Facebook, if you want to add me as a friend you can click here or you can click on the box underneath my blog roll to the right of this post.  I apologise to those of you who aren’t fans of Facebook for the blabbering on of this post.

You can also find me on Twitter.

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12 comments to Facebook….

  • magicmummy

    I think I'm slowly coming around to the same way of thinking. It's not
    like I ever post anything offensive or about other people (that I can
    remember anyway lol) so I don't suppose it matters really….

  • magicmummy

    I think I'm slowly coming around to the same way of thinking. It's not
    like I ever post anything offensive or about other people (that I can
    remember anyway lol) so I don't suppose it matters really….

  • I used to have a 'secret' online life, but after a big change in my life I decided I'm an open book, and that's that. I post what I want, say more or less what I want, and dont worry too much about it, whoever doesn't like it, doesn't have to read it. That said, if I do want to say something I don't want my family to read, there are plenty of places to do that too. But for me, I found having a secret life wasn't doing my real life relationships any favours, in the end.

  • Kim

    I totally understand keeping you blog from your family. Only some of my closer family members know. I'm not sure why, I guess because I feel I can be more 'real' on my blog if they don't know about it? Besides my mom just doesn't 'get' it. from her I'd get the “Why do you want to talk to a bunch of strangers and tell them personal info?? @@”

    Btw, following you from MBC!
    http://www.justsayin-kim.blogspot.com

  • magicmummy

    Hi

    I started out not using any pictures and using aliases for our names but
    gradually as the blog became more personal to me I started to use more
    pictures.

    The first picture I used of the kids showed them building an indoor den and
    I removed it three times before I decided to share it. Now I use their
    pictures all the time – I don't use mine as I hate having my picture taken
    lol.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts ;-)

  • magicmummy

    That's exactly what I worry about with family and friends knowing about my
    blog – would I censor what I wrote? I think I would a little bit which
    would change my blog and probably the way I feel about it.

    As for my dad on facebook, well I'm not exactly wild but I think I would
    always think about what I was doing if I knew my dad could see it as he's
    very old fashioned and a bit judgemental (love him to bits though). I thought
    I left that behind when I left home!

    I think I will start using our real first names – it will be easier to
    write and much more personal.

    Thanks for your thoughts ;-)

  • My family don't know about my blog – the only person I've told is my sister, but as far as I'm aware she hasn't yet visited. (Or if she has, she hasn't mentioned it!). I'm not sure how I feel about my parents (and in-laws) reading what I've written….but having said that they are, in general, technophobes, so even putting the computer on is a challenge for them!

    I firmly believe names have power, so I post under an alias. When I write about my children and my partner I use the first initial of their names. I don't plan to show many photos of them, but if (when) I do I will not show their faces.

    I guess when it comes down to it, it's whatever you're comfortable with.

    Although it's great that your Dad is using Facebook, I'm not sure what I'd feel about having my parents on my friend list…

  • My Dad knows about my blog, as he started following me on twitter. It does mean I can't really be myself on my blog though… like I can't write such things about my parents in it, how they ignored my PND like it didn't exist etc… I wish I'd never introduced him to twitter, he only uses it for stalking me! he'll regularly comment on something on it like “you should go to your bed before 3am” or “see you had a heavy night out with sarah on wednesday”.

    The family on facebook/twitter/blog thing is strange… I wish I didn't have them on mine!! I've got both parents on it, my brother, sister-in-law and a variety of uncles, aunts and cousins (whom I very rarely see – once in blue moon – so don't REALLY know them).

    My 83 year old Grandfather uses Facebook and will message his kids/grandkids on it. Hell he even used facebook chat with me the other day!! I love that though, as I don't see him nowhere near enough and he's slowly dying from cancer. However it irritates me that a couple of my male cousins are so RUDE with their status messages etc knowing our Grandad can see them! Like using the C word… talking about girls “bits” in very crude ways etc.

    As for using real names for the kiddies on folks blogs, I'm all for that, and I do so with my own son on mine.

  • magicmummy

    I think I am going to start using our real names soon – not sure about letting people know about the blog yet – I suppose I will at some point, just not yet. It's mine all mine lol x

  • magicmummy

    Thank you very much for taking the time to post that – I really appreciate your thoughts and you have given me something to think about.

    Thanks again

  • Aww that's so good of your Dad to get into technology :)
    Regarding the anonymity and using real names or not, there are quite a lot of conversation in the BMB so you might want to go and see what people think. I personally use real names and photos and I am not sure whether it is right or wrong, but that's just the way it has been from the beginning so it would be pointless to change it now.
    Regarding friends and family, most of mine don't really bother checking the blog as they don't really get the concept. My MIL asks me all the time “what is this blog thing about?” :)

  • I think it's great that your father is finding some form of positive outlet (even if its through the form of embracing the modern era) instead of holding all inside in isolation and depression. If it were me in your situation, I would accept him.

    My reason for accepting him would be because he is 70yrs old and I think it would be wise to take advantage of what time is available for connecting with my father, even if its through facebook.

    As for the privacy and anonymity it is a personal decision that one must make at the right moment.

    I started out keeping my blog hidden from family. They knew I had one but they just didn't know how to find me. Just this past week I merged my personal facebook and fan page/networkedblog account together and I did so because I no longer want to be living a “double life” if you will.

    My family should know me the way that people that have never met me physically know me.I owe them that much for raising me and being a part of me. I owe them the truth of who I am and what I'm about.

    And though there are things that I talk about on my blog that my family and acquantinces have no idea about ex:Sexuality it is still a part of me that if I'm not ashamed of my kids knowing about one day then how these people view my life and me, (as hard as it may be at times but) it really shouldn't matter.

    Much Luv,
    Karen

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