This morning I was in the queue at Aldi when I heard (it was impossible not to) a lady behind me in the queue talking on her phone. She seemed a bit annoyed with someone and was having a bit of a rant – most of which I just filtered out while being hypnotised by the speed of the Aldi checkout lady!
One thing that I did hear was her telling the person who was on the receiving end of her rant was that it wasn’t easy being a stay at home mum which is something I totally agree with. I can’t tell if the person she was speaking to agreed or not but her reply to whatever they said was that being a stay at home mum was much harder than being a working mum!
Really? Is being a stay at home mum harder than being a working mum? It’s not the first time I’ve heard someone say this or read a comment online and some comments I’ve seen in the past have actually made me question my decision to work because of some of the comments and their implied meanings….
I want to be there for my children!
Me too, just because I work doesn’t mean that I’m not there for them and they know that. I’ve never missed a school event or not been there for something they’ve wanted me there for and I spend a lot of time with them when I’m not at work.
I want my children to know they are my priority!
Again, me too. My children know they are my top priority and understand that they are the driving force behind everything that I do.
My children need me!
My children need me too. They also need a happy family life where we aren’t worried about money and we have plenty of quality time together and they’re so lucky that they have that.
I might not go to work but I have a job at home – cooking, cleaning and keeping the house running like clockwork
Here’s an interesting fact – these things need doing whether or not you have a job and I do them all (although I wouldn’t use the word clockwork to describe how our house runs ;-)) and go to work and earn a good wage.
When my children were born, I went back to work and worked around them as much as possible working an evening shift from 5-10 Monday to Friday so I could be with them through the day and leave them with their Dad at night.
Then when they went to school I went back to the usual day shift working full time hours over four days before our financial situation (namely me working hard at being frugal and saving money) allowed me to reduce my hours to part time, working from 8am until 2.30pm each day. I would drop them off at breakfast club and then head on to work and be done by the time I needed to pick them up.
But here’s the thing, I managed my work AND did everything that I would be doing at home if I was a stay at home mum. I washed, I cooked, I cleaned, I did everything I needed to do with the kids and more. I didn’t miss a thing with the kids and actually, my working bought in money that gave s freedom to do fun things – holidays, days out, treats – without having to worry too much about money.
Had I been a stay at home mum, I might have taken over the jobs that Mr Frugal does around the house which are washing the pots, ironing and the bins but they’re not particularly time consuming or difficult (although I do hate doing them). And actually, I don’t think I would have taken over everything as I still would have expected some help from him.
So, I’m really not sure what’s more difficult about being a stay at home mum.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think being a working mum is easier or harder than being a stay at home mum, it’s just different.
Maybe we should get rid of the labels working mum and stay at home mum and all just be what we are – mums doing the best we can for our children!
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