I’m generally a very happy, positive type of person and I really believe that life is too short to be sad for long or to worry about things you have no control over. I spend a lot of time making sure that my children have a happy childhood and we have a lot of happy smiley photos showing fun times that we’ve had. I found so many photos and even got as far as putting them together in a pretty collage in Picmonkey and then I came across a photo that reminded me of the strongest emotion I’ve ever felt and decided to share that instead.
This is the photo I found….
It was a photo taken last year during one of Miss Frugal’s hospital visits. She’d been suffering from dizzy spells and the doctors and specialists couldn’t find out what it was causing them. She had what seemed like endless tests and appointments with different specialists over the course of about three months. The picture above shows the ‘magic cream’ the hospital used on her before they took what seemed like about 5 pints of blood! She also had hearing and sight tests, several ECGs and an MRI brain scan.
The specialist told us after the MRI that the results showed it was clear but there was a concern that the symptoms she had could point to a slow growing tumour called an Acoustic Neuroma which wouldn’t have shown on the scan due to it’s size.
I don’t think I can put into words the absolute fear that I felt when we were told this and then to be told that we would have to wait a few months to be reassessed to see if that was in fact the cause. To know that there could be something wrong with my little baby and I was helpless to do anything for her.
In the months that followed we got on with things and tried to put it to the back of our mind but it was always there. Always at the back of my mind that this thing could be growing inside her head and I often ended up crying in bed at night when everyone else was asleep.
When we finally got the news that it wasn’t a tumour but was actually a pre migraine aura that she was suffering with, I instantly felt that a huge weight had been lifted. I cried while the specialist told us what was actually wrong with her (as did Mr Frugal) and we kept asking him if he was sure it wasn’t a tumour.
So, my photos might not be great quality but just looking at them make me remember the fear I felt for months last year and I’ve just cried reading back the post where I wrote about finding out it wasn’t a tumour. It took days to sink in that she was fine and even now, I still feel sick looking at the picture.
And you know what, last year made me all the more determined to enjoy my children!