It’s such a fine line between being a friend to your child and being a parent and it’s important that you get the right balance because if you’re too strict and controlling then I think that children will rebel as soon as they get the chance to. At the opposite end of the spectrum, if you’re too much of a friend to your children then you might find discipline to be a problem at some point because they haven’t had enough structure.
I have a really good relationship with Miss Frugal who’s now 11 and I really want to keep it that way as she gets older although I know that’s going to be an uphill battle! I like that fact that we can, and do, talk about anything together- and I really do mean anything!
She comes to me with the oddest questions sometimes but I promised her that I’ll never laugh at her or tell her she’s asking a silly question and she trusts that I’ll always tell her the truth and if she tells me a secret, it’ll stay a secret unless she agrees otherwise. She knows that the things we discuss can’t be repeated because I know that not all of her friends parents might be as open.
There’s lots of other parenting fine lines though….
My worst one so far has been the school dilemma and I ended up applying for the school where none of her friends (that I know of) have applied for which breaks my heart in one way but in another, I genuinely know it’s a better school and if she doesn’t get in then at least I’ve tried haven’t I?
I had the whole walking home from school debate earlier this year where we couldn’t decide whether we thought she was too young to walk home from school on her own. We decided to let her when she went back to school in September and it turns our she’s too lazy to walk when I’m there picking her brother up in the car (I stop off on the way home from work or we’d all be walking) and she’s never walked home on her own yet even though she’s allowed now.
The dark nights have put paid to the how far is she allowed when she’s out playing with her friends for the minute thankfully but that’s another area where she’s been pushing boundaries recently. I know I need to let go but I hate not knowing exactly where she is but I’m trying not to let her see that so much as I want her to stay as confident and independent as she is now.
Then there’s the whole screen time fine line, the should they have a mobile phone fine line, the make up fine line and don’t even start me on the clothes fine line.
She’s trying to grow up so quickly and the biggest fine line of all is making sure that I don’t let her grow up too fast while still letting her grow into a happy, confident young lady.
It’s not easy!
PS, I’ve been a bit quiet as I’ve not been well but I’ll be back to normal soon x x