You might remember that Miss Frugal made friend last week with the girl (I’ll call her M) who lives in the house behind ours (here). Even though the house backs on to ours, it’s about a five minue walk to get round the front so since then they have been playing together but each in their own garden if you see what I mean.
Anyway, today M has asked Miss Frugal to go round and play with her and some of her friends, which would be fine but they are playing in the street, not in the house! It’s a really quiet cul de sac with four of the houses not even occupied yet so (after much deliberating) I said she could go. I walked her round there and am now really regretting saying yes.
I have made Mr Frugal go and play on his computer (didn’t take much) in the dining room with the patio doors open so he can hear her if she shouts and I keep nipping upstairs to look out the window and see if I can see her – which I can’t but I still keep trying!
She is probably less than 50 metres away but because I can’t see her and she’s in a different street, I’m practically pacing the floor and I can’t wait until I can go pick her up again. Would she think I was unreasonable if I went and got her now…. She’ll have had ten minutes play lol.
I know she needs to grow up and I do love that she’s so indendent but I don’t like it, am I always going to worry or does it get easier?
I am consoling myself by playing with Mr Frugal – Poor thing, he quite clearly wants to be left alone to play on his DS.
Thanks very much for your reply….
It is so difficult isn't it but I agree that they need to be given some
freedom as long as they know their boundaries.
I did speak to the mum but didn't think to swap numbers – I think I will
next time to make me feel a bit better. She is already talking about going
next weekend!
Their street is so much quieter than ours as it's a cul de sac so I
actually prefer them there if they are playing in the street but I'm going to ask
the mum about having her round to play in the house.
Thanks for your ideas, I really appreciate it
x
My eldest is 7 and she started playing out at 5. People think I am strange in having let her, but at the time we lived on a quiet estate where everyone kind of knew everyone and the park was in the middle of a loop of houses. It wasnt far but I couldnt see or hear her. She kept coming back to see what time she needed to be home! I think clear boundaries are the key and only let them go where is safe. I remember playing out on my own at 5 – but that was before there were so many cars about etc. Ilet her out now but she generally has to stay on our street – especially if she has her bike. I do think this summer will be the start of her playing out properly though as independence is definitly kicking in with her. It is always hard though, at school or parties you hand responsibility over to other adults, playing out is different though as it's still your responsibility to make sure she is safe. Did you speak to the parent? It may be an idea to give swap phone numbers? Just to put your mind at ease that there is contact? And if your house has a safe area out front maybe see if they can alternate which house they play outside of so you can also monitor how they all play together? Just some ideas – you'll know what is practical. xx
Thanks Nickie…. I like the idea of randomly checking up on them – Keep them on their toes lol
I know what you mean – I would much rather they were playing here. I've got her back now but she is dying to go again!
Sorry I'm late replying to this because she's probably home now.
The way in which I've built up trust with my children is to give them a specific time to come home and got the other child's parent(s) involved too. I have also instilled a little bit of fear because I say “If you're not hope by xx o'clock, then you're not going again”. This works amazingly – they are allowed to friends houses within a certain distance, to play in someone's garden and, now that the youngest is old enough, to the park on their own. I demand to know where they are and they know I will randomly check on them because I have been known to have to “nip to the shop” or go and collect them early for an “important” reason 😉
I'm the same…I frett terribly if My youngest plays out while she is at friends houses.
Its a horrible feeling isnt it. Thats why ive always been the woman down the street that has all the kids in…that way I can keep My eye on them…I would rather a wrecked garden than feel anxious because i cant see her.
I know…. I'm off to get her now – I think I have given her enough freedom
for one day lol
It's so hard letting them go, isn't it. Especially when they go out of sight!