Miss Frugal is almost 13 and is getting more independent by the day.
I’m trying hard to let her go and to give her the freedom that she craves but as a parent, it’s really hard to know where is should stop. If you have children yourself, regardless of how old they are, then I’m sure you know exactly what I mean – it’s a fine line between keeping them safe and being too over-protective.
If I look at her now compared to a year ago, I can see a huge change in here and it’s all as a result of her going up to secondary school. You might remember how much I struggled with the decision to send her to a different school to all of her friends but looking back, it was the best thing I ever did because it’s a delight to see how confident she’s become and how happy she is with herself, her life and her friends.
She’s not the only one who’s changed though.
My parenting style has changed massively in response to the change in her and over the last six months or so and I’m much more laid back about things. I’m letting her do things that I would never have even considered a few short months ago – things like getting the train into the nearest big town with her friends would have been inconceivable to me six months ago but now she regularly does this.
It’s not been easy to let her grow up and do things on her own but a couple of things have made it easier for me….
Firstly, she’s made it easy because she’s very conscientious about letting me know where she’s going and who she’s going with. Her time-keeping isn’t amazing but at least she lets me know that she’s going to be late I guess.
And the second thing that helps, which is the whole point of this post despite my wafflings, is the fact that she has an iPhone. Now I know a lot of people will disagree with but that phone is worth it’s weight in gold to a worrier like me – it’s how we keep in touch when she out and about, it’s how I make sure she’s OK when I’m not with her and it’s how I say night night to her when she’s sleeping at a friends house.
It’s also a tracking device and using the Find my Friends app (I’m sure there’s an android version too if you’re interested) I can see exactly where she whenever I want to. I discovered the app about a week ago when I was browsing the app store (as you do) and seeing as it was free to download, I thought I’d have a try although I didn’t have high hopes if I’m honest.
I needn’t have worried though because it’s amazing!
Once I set it up and added her as a friend (she knows that I can track her and she’s good with that because she knows that it makes me worry less) then I can see exactly where she is. I can’t show you a screen shot of it on my phone as I don’t like to share where we live but it basically has me on the map as a flashing blue dot wherever I am and then it has her as a photo of her showing me where she is. Here’s the screen shot from the Apple Website though:
I can’t see her moving if she’s moving somewhere but if I press refresh then her updated location is shown on the map and it’s actually really accurate – the most it’s been off since I’ve been using it is saying that I’m next door rather than at home.
What do you think, would you feel more relaxed if you could track your child?
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Personally, as long as your daughter is aware of what you're doing and is happy with it then I think this is a great use of technology. I track my husband, and as Jennifer has also said it's incredibly useful for knowing if he's on his way home yet or how his train journey home is getting on. It does mean that he can't get away with a quick pint after work without telling me though 😉
Oh that's so interesting Cass. I have to be honest, I don't like it when parents 'stealth stalk' their children and keep track of where they are, but the fact that you've had a conversation about it and agreed to it with your daughter is fantastic. Sounds like you have a brilliant relationship based on trust, and this allows you peace of mind. I hope that when my son reaches that age we can do something similar (although who knows what technology will be like 6 or 7 years down the line!) x
I have never even considered using that app for that reason – only to find the phone when it's been misplaced. I actually feel children are losing a bit of their childhood with parents knowing where they are so much (and Facebook is also a big help at this too). May be I wasn't normal but I often thought I had "run away" and my parents hadn't even noticed and that would never happen now would it.
I am glad your daughter is maturing so well and fitting into her new school.
Oh that's fascinating! Would have spoiled all my fun as a teen, but then I always got caught anyway when I wasn't where I was meant to be, so probably a good tool for early teens and parents to build trust and confidence.
My husband and I track each other via our iPhones and although some people raise an eyebrow I find it really useful, I can tell if he's on his way home from work so I can get the dinner on, or when he's been away travelling I can see whether he has left for home and I need to get the hoover out! So I would definitely track our children when they are older if the facility was available, hopefully they would just accept it as they are always asking to see where Daddy is on the map!