I read something in a magazine this week that annoyed me so much so that I actually e mailed the publishers of the magazine. It was a readers letter from a mum who said that her son was struggling with his spelling but ‘as a busy mum’ she didn’t have time to help him. She does go on to say that she discovered her local library, got him a library card and his spelling has now greatly improved but I really don’t think that’s the point.
As a mother, I do everything I can to encourage my children’s learning and when it was apparent that Master Frugal was struggling, I did everything I could do help him. I don’t have much spare time myself, if I’m not at work you can usually find me ferrying the kids between their activities, in the kitchen cooking or somewhere else in the house tweeting tidying but I ALWAYS make time for my children.
I get that the letter highlights that libraries are a great resource but I don’t think a letter with a mum saying she was too busy to help her son with something he was struggling with should be published and I certainly don’t agree that it was the ‘Star Letter’ and the busy mum was awarded £500 worth of vouchers.
I know I’m probably being over sensitive because of the time and effort I’ve put in to Master Frugal’s learning recently but one of the things I was told at Parents Evening the other night was that one of the reasons that he was selected as one of the very few pupils in the school to take part in the Reading Recovery program was because they knew he would get the support at home. So whilst I could never explain how grateful I am to the school that he was selected, it is upsetting that the reason some children missed out was because the teachers did not feel that they would receive the necessary support from their parents to strengthen their learning.
Our children’s education is as much our reponsibility as it is the schools, if not more and I take that responsibility seriously – Do you?
**Steps down off soapbox**
I always make time to teach my daughter things. I enjoy seeing her progress when she has learned something new. I also believe it should be fun too.
My husband is a very busy guy that comes home between 6:45 to 7:30 and always makes time to read her a bedtime story. He understands the importance of quality time and bonding between parent and child. Children NEED their parents and they should find the time. No teacher can subsitute this!
It's important that parents try to teach our kids something new everyday. You've got the right idea. It's a very big responsibility indeed.
My children amaze me every day too – I love teaching them new things but I also understand now that some parents dont always have the luxury of time x
I think especially in the early years its important to spend as much time with the children both playing and learning with them rather than moaning at them. I must admit as being a busy father with a full time job and a part time job blogging and a few other websites that at times I just need my own space. I try to spend spend as much time with my children when I get home from work, but it is very difficult. I'm not making excuses but agree if you don't spend the time with them, they crave your attention by being naughty.
I love to see my childrens development especially when they have learned new things. I get amazed everyday.
My children amaze me every day too – I love teaching them new things but I also understand now that some parents dont always have the luxury of time xAw thanks very much – my pressie helped cheer me up
I live in Germany and am a SAHM. The system is very different here and parents are expected to help their children. During primary school, there's no afternoon school. Children get mountains of homework and parents are expected to enforce their learning.
I have four children and I happily take the time to help them when they have a problem. But I am totally against sitting for hours (and I mean hours) doing homework with them. Two of my children have dyslexia. One profoundly. I have invested a huge amount of time helping her through this.
Although I'm happy to explain when they don't understand something or ask them questions for an upcoming test, I push for them to work as independently as possible as the rule. That is not the case for many parents here, they are constantly helping and pushing their children through the three-tier high school system.
What's important to me me as a SAHM is to talk to my children, teach them to cook and other practical aspects of life. I prefer to teach them in more practical ways than with formal sit down learning i.e. playing a game together, going for nature walks, working together in the kitchen (a great learning process for kids – reading recipes, maths, decision making, responsibility as well as the actual learning about cooking and food). I see my role as the person who gives them life skills. I am not trained as a teacher and believe homework should only be a reiteration of what has been learned at school.
This mother should never have won a prize for her comment. It's ridiculous. I'm glad that you complained to the magazine.
That is a completely different system to the UK one isn't it – I much prefer the UK system although I know people have complaints about that too.
I try to do the same as you really when I'm with my kids, we learn though play and I teach them the life skills that the school probably wont be able to. I think your priorities are perfect x
Yes! Education is at home as much as at school. I've just starting to help my daughter with writing the alphabet and it's amazing what results a little time and effort can produce. Can be challenging but the results are so worth it!
You're giving her a fantastic start if you're teaching her before she learns it at school – not only will she find it much easier at school, she'll also have more confidence in herself taht she can do it.
Thanks for your post, I really enjoyed reading it.
You're welcome x
I sit on both sides of the fence here, \i believe helping my kids learn is crucial but sometimes bedtime rocks along and we have ran out of time for reading etc. My babies are only 5 so we try and oncorporate learning into play and dont often so 'schoolwork' but we are masters at counting beans and spelling out words in the house! http://www.northernmum.wordpress.com
That's exactly what we do learning through the games we play and the things we do and see rather than any formal learning at home. It's worked for us so far x
I just can't imagine being "too busy" to help Zack (or Max when the time comes!) with something he had trouble with at school, or outwith school for that matter! We're their parents, it's our duty to help them become the best they can be!
It certainly is…. Especially if they are struggling with something.
I'm with you on this one. I think as a parent is our responsibility to support our children:)
My point exactly 😉
Very much agree with you. It is quite obvious the paper in question didn't have any better material to award the £500 to! I would have been ashamed to tell anyone that, never mind publish it in a paper for all to see!
CJ xx
I would have been ashamed as well certainly not proud enough to share with the world….
I'm a SAHM so I belive it's my duty to teach my children as much as possible and it's not as easy as people can think.
Trying to fit in some formal learning (sitting at a table) into out daily routine can be tricky as I have 2 under 3's, what with regular housework, cooking, feeding,dressing , and playing with the children I am exhausted by the end of the day.
I also wonder how Working Mums find trying to do formal learning with thier children.
I don't think this issue is as simple as it comes across.
I agree with you, it's not as simple as I first thought. I don't do much formal learning but we do a lot of learning in our normal daily activities (or we try to) x
I so agree with you, I make time to read with my children daily and I also have lots of learning activities up my sleeve for my eldest who has Down Syndrome. My youngest son has recently moved school as we moved house and the school he's in now gives far less homework, spellings and reading than his previous school. Having spoken to his teacher about this I was told that 'because the catchment area is very different' to his old school it was unfair for the teachers to give lots of homework that wouldn't get done as it makes the children feel like they're failing when they don't complete the homework due to lack of support from home. Very sad, but I can see the teachers point. I feel as though the pressure is off me now he's at this new school and we just do extra spelling and writing as and when now rather than feeling the pressure we had at the old school. After all by the time they've done their clubs there's not much time left is there!!!
That's strange isn't it – giving less homework because the teachers know it won't get done. they have a point I suppose and at least you can do what you feel you need to do rather than what you're told to do if you see what I mean. And you're so right about the clubs – it's non stop 😉
I can see both sides of it really – for me it would be inexcusable to not spend time with my kids – it's the whole reason I stopped working after all, but for some parents they don't have the luxury of time I guess.
It really is sad to think that there are kids whose parents are too busy for them, and however wrong it may be it does seem to be a fact of life these days!
I guess I never thought of that really but Emma's comment above is more or less the same – maybe I'm just lucky I can work part time and still have the time to spend with the kids x
Hmmmm this is a difficult one. I am one of those busy Mothers that doesn't always have time. I work a ridiculous amount of hours a week to keep our heads above water and most nights we don't get home before 6.30pm or 7pm. By the time I've cooked dinner is it fair to make Chick start doing her homework??? I've come to an agreement with her Teacher that we will do the homework at some point but it won't always be on time. I'm sure that some of you will disagree with me being too busy to help but you try working full time and paying all the bills on top of being a single Mother and see how much time you have!!!!
Oooh controversial 😉
I know you said on Twitter that you would make time if Chick was struggling and I think that's the crux of my point – if a child is struggling you can't just rely on the school to sort it as they have lots of other children to focus on.
I don't agree with homework for younger children as I think they should be allowed to be kids for as long as possible but I do think it's important to help them to learn. I don't sit mine down and teach them, we do things like spotting words when we're out or playing eye spy – all little things that encourage them to learn but while having fun and I bet you do things like that too.
Also, I can't remember who it is but I'm sure someone on Blogger.ed doesn't do homework as they don't agree with it at all.
Definitely definitely agree… I know I need to do more of it too, and have given up a couple of voluntary things so I have more time to do this (not voluntary for charities I hasten to add)! It is indeed our responsibility as well… Emma
I know I need to do more too, I have spent a lot of time with my youngest and not as much with my eldest as she's naturally very bright x
I cannot imagine not helping my children to learn….it just seems such a complete cop out to be a parent who's "too busy" to even spend 20 minutes or whatever a day helping their child after school. If you can't even give them that much time – why bother having them in the first place?
Exactly, especially if they're struggling.
as a homeschool mum i am appalled that any parent would be 'too busy' to spend time helping her child learn…my bestie is a public school teacher and she can relate first hand that her best students are not necessarily the smartest pupils, but the ones who get support, time and help from their parents at home…we are all busy and it just comes down to prioritizing…i cannot believe that letter won a contest…good for you in firing off a written response to the publisher.
blessings,
alison
stuff and nonsense
Thanks very much, I agree that supporting children should be our main priority as parents x